So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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