I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
