Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I met the friendliest cop last night
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
