Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
