I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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