I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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