wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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