1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize