Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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