We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
