mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I could fuck to npr.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
