i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
