It's like God shit irony all over that family
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
