Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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