I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
