Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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