..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
