I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
