All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
