I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
