yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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