I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
