I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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