I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
