if i can run in heels then i can drive
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
