the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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