i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
