Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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