thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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