you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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