if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
