im six kinds of drunk right now
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize