I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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