It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
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Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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