The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
