He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
