he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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