whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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