When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
