I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i've created a new STD.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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