i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
