I just pynch a tree in the face
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
