Acid is not a monday night drug
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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