she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
