chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
