I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
