White coat. Heels.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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