no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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