is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize