? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
