I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
