Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
