So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
