i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
