i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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