I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
