I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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