So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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