Buhtt sex?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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