The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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