Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
