She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Less talking, more tequila
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
