AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
