Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
