So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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